| Despite my very busy schedule, I will be blogging because of this one special person in my life. He is someone who is very close in my heart and I love this guy from the roots of his long hair down to the tip of his toes. MY FAIRYTALE
November 11, 2006. We were in the same place, his friends were talking with me and we went on without saying hi or smiling at each other. I dont even think we noticed each other back then. His friends say that he used to be a basketball player who`s making the school and all people dear to him very proud. I can even recall the punk rock show when he happened to be the guitarist. waaahh...they play the song chicksilog (chicksilog, ako ay nahulog!! nilinlang, niloko, alam q nang secreto mo..chicksilog..) My friends were planning to go to campbridge because its Shane`s bday.. and so did shane told me to go,, so i went to cherrie`s house and called my mom if she would permit me to go.. and she said yes so i decided to go home and prepare my things. by the time i reached there, it was already 7pm. I was having a hard time because im out of place. waaah!! but my bestfriend showed up and I started to enjoy. We were talking and playing.. haha.. I only talk to some friends.. (Cherrie, Jam, Louie, Ate Pauline, Pipoi, Gerome, Frinz, Ate Em2x, etc..) I was once left alone in one spot and my friend Cherrie called me and so did i swim beside her. She was talking with Ivan near the slide. and then Ivan started to ask me. And I told him that I really hate their school b`coz the student are sex-oriented. haha.. it was dinner time, and we ate. Ivan and Jenz were singing "gitara" i remembered eddie bcoz Gitara used to be our theme song.. haha! then we were having so much fun. I chatted with Gerome and i was bugging him to tell me something about his ex-girlfriend.. Oh boy did he gave me a hard time.. I asked Pipoi if he made it to the honors list.. unfortunately, we both failed to make it to the honors list...waaah!! i was very disapointed but i blame myself for not doing my best in school... He offered me to drink emperador.. and i did not hesitated to drink it.. haha.. it was only for good for me to feel warm while swimming.. i was chatting with Ate Em2x and as she noticed Ivan, she asked him "ivan type mo bah si ester??" Oo, Ivan answered.. She asked Ivan to go beside me and all of a sudden, she disappeared. And so, we started to talk.. As far as I can remember, he told me "bka pgktpos ni2 di mo na ako kausapin" we were still drinking emperador.. waah!! then.. I told him "tingnan q muna cp q bka may msg".. ok bstah balik k di2, he respond... i checked my cp and I had msges from my papa who was waiting for me in his car. So I carried my things and went outside.. I was feeling very dizzy and I cant manage to go back to the pool.. good thing i can still recognize my papa`s car.. so i stepped inside and he drove me home.. The next day.. As I open my eyes, my head is in pain. I tried to remember everything because there are a lot of questions in my mind that needs to be answered like how did i manage to sleep in my bed in the proper position?? And how come i cant even remember changing my clothes and how I laid in my bed. waahh!! maybe it was all because i prayed so hard. My angel JOSEPH did not fail me. Oh how i missed him. Huhuhu.. why did u die before me??... T_T A tear falls forever inside my broken heart..
Monday morning, my bestie louie told me what happend and ivan wants to get my number.. so now we have been texting. He apologized and i dont blame him for that.. its still my fault for letting him do it to me. but i was so unconscious not to notice that.. emperador really got me very badly.. waaahhh!! anyway, so it was lunch tym already and i can never lie to my boyfriend.. but he was suppose to be angry w/ ivan.. but he spilled it to me.. and i was so sad. his love for me was never for real. if he really loved me, he would still accept me. i was searching for answers.. our love did not prevail.. but all that is left to me were broken promises and he always gives me reasons not to fight for our love.. You said it so that it was my fault because i did something that would ruin our relationship.. There`s nothing left for me to do but to cry in darkness.. my tears so warm and bitter, he broke up w/ me.. but why does it have to hurt me like this,, I do love u.. but u were so dumb to give up on us.. i never hate u for hurting me. instead i try to fake smiles,, and i opened the door for ivan.. what can i do, i need someone to love the hurt away... im sorry eddie, i never wnted to let u go,but i cnt find the words to tell u, i never thought our love would end this way. But i dont think that i still know u.. i love u, the old u!!!! u have changed a lot.. i buried my memories w/ u at the back of my mind... i left it where shadows run deep.. i still hope that u will miss me when im gone.. and maybe ur happy coz u wont get to see me cry in front of u.. yea im tired of crying over u!! thats why i spilled my heart for ivan.. im happy for u,, and plz stop pointing the finger over me.. dont blame me,, i dont even know why i do the things i do.. maybe i had a foolish heart, but i never regret everything i have done. because it gives way for me to love some1 else.. till i met a rare person.. a type of guy who accepts me for what i am and appreciates me.. he makes me feel good about myself.. thats an opposite of eddie.. im sorry if i have to admit this things.. i was too dumb not to notice the pain u caused me.. time flies and time always heals the pain.. that works for me.. pain is not a lifetime sacrifice... they say it takes one minute to be inlove but it takes yrs to 4get and mend a broken heart.. eddie u broke me!! |
